Monday, January 30, 2012

Speak the Language

A few years back a friend lent me her book The 5 Love Languages.  I was hesitant at first because I'm really not into self - help books.  But I was pleasantly surprised while reading it.  I learned a lot about myself and the people in my life.

The gist of love languages is that we show how we love others in a particular way.  But, we also feel loved by others when they show us in a particular way.  If you are like me than you may discover that you are more than one language.  I am predominantly two and know that when I feel unfilled in my relationships it is because one or both of those needs is not being met for me.  What language are you?

  • Words of Affirmation ~ People who speak this language require (and give) positive feedback to others.  They often want to be told they are loved and hear about their positive qualities.

  • Quality Time ~ People who speak this language require their loved ones spend time with them.

  • Receiving Gifts ~ If this is your language then you feel loved and show your love for others with gift giving.

  • Acts of Service ~ The folks who speak this language feel fulfilled when their loved ones do things for them, like taking out the trash or doing the dishes.

  • Physical Touch ~ If you feel fulfilled when others touch with a gentle palm on the arm or a big bear hug this is your language.


Interestingly, while reading the book I discovered how often times the reason why we fall in love with our spouses/mates is because they were fulfilling our love language.  Sometimes (okay, oftentimes) we get so settled in things that we forget or stop doing those things for our loved ones.  Which can make our partner question our love for them (or vice versa).   Oh!  If you are someone who enjoys giving gifts, touching or doing things for others that's most likely because that is what you need.  And once you are aware of the languages you can see how children exhibit these qualities!   For a firmer sense of you language take The 5 Love Languages Assessment!