Saturday, January 28, 2012

Limits

Some of us underestimate what we are capable of, and at times, some of us overestimate. Regardless of how well we know ourselves. I am of the belief that I know myself pretty well, but recently found myself overestimating my capabilities.

After grandmother's service I found myself returning to work the very next day. I woke in the morning feeling that I was in no way ready to return to work, but that I must. I must get on with the routine of life. Work. Sleep. Eat. Ignoring my waking thoughts, I pressed on. Showering. Preparing breakfast. Driving to work.

The entire way there I kept telling myself that it was what was best. Returning to routine would be best. The heartache of loss would disappear once I had a classroom full of children to occupy my day. How wrong I was. Unprepared for the words of sympathy from colleagues and the looks of concern from students. I completely overestimated my ability to return to that routine.

There are times when we need to listen to ourselves. We need to honor our own needs. Whether it be to honor our need to grieve. To de-stress. To enjoy our lives. In place of pushing them aside for beliefs of how strong we are, we need to first honor what we need. We know it in our hearts. Our minds. The trick in honoring it in our actions.